You’re My Love Letter
When I’m ready to bare my heart, words always fail me...
You are a physical expression of everything a love letter could ever contain. Every love letter that's ever been written all in one. Imagine how soft, touching, passionate, loving, raw, sensitive and honest the letter would be. That’s all you.
I wish I could write one that made you understand everything I’m feeling now. It’s impossible but I’ll try. Just know…however you feel at the end of this letter.. know that this is a watered-down version of what I truly mean.
If you were in my heart you’d know. You’d lay there and never leave. Even the moments I’m the most annoying on the outside.
I feel things... I have new feelings for you. Maybe not new, but newly found. It’s deeper, more intense and more real than they’ve ever been. I said new because the feelings I had for you from the moment I became your girlfriend until now seem so far apart they might as well be brand new. I want to cry for no reason from how warm and overwhelming it feels in these random moments. I want us to get married again because I should have felt like this on our first dance. Zoned into you. Into our love. Into your eyes. I probably would’ve cried my heart out and told you I loved you a million times. I would’ve messed up my makeup and not cared.
Instead, I was concerned about the pictures, everyone staring, and what the videos would look like. I want to say things to you I didn’t get to say on our special day. I was distracted by a lot of things getting to know you. If back then when you said you were ready and I wasn’t, you felt how I feel right now, I’m so sorry I didn't give that back to you. I long for you each day. For a hug, a kiss, or any and all signs of affection. You are my rock baby.
God, I had so many walls, you don’t even want to know. With my heart, I trusted no one but myself. I’ve never fully given my heart to anyone. I’ve never been sure they’ll never break it. I’ve never felt secure enough with anyone to trust them with my complete body, mind and soul. So when you said you don’t think I’ve ever been in a real relationship…. you just might be right. Anytime, I felt I had given my heart to someone, I always held something back. It could be my body (sexuality), my mind (dreams) or my soul (spirituality). I never trusted or felt comfortable enough to give my all until you.
I’m going through a complete 360. I know I’m a tough nut but this nut promises to be sweet in the middle.
I have so much more to offer. That’s how I know our marriage will be very long and sweet. Thank you for your patience in dealing with my baggage. Anyone that ever says or goes against you, goes against me and I’ll defend you to the world till the day I die.
Your imperfections have a way of perfecting my imperfections.
